My Kindle.
Best. Invention. EVER. Seriously, I love this thing! It’s like having a library in your hands, 24/7. If you have credit in your Amazon account, you can download any book you desire, any time of the day or night. It has no backlight, so you can read for hours without getting blurry computer screen vision. The one downside is that it takes forever to charge, but, once it has, it does last long enough to read a few books. Best. Thing. Ever.

Mobile phones.
Ok this one’s a given – and given how attached I am to mine, I shudder to think how the next generation will survive without one. I never turn my phone off, except in the most dire emergency. I noted with amusement recently that at the cinema, they no longer ask you to turn your phone off. They’ve settled for, more realistically, asking you to set it to silent.

Portable hard drives.
Super cool. I’ve only just recently acquired one, and it holds a whole terrabyte of data. Who even knew there was such a thing as a terrabyte?! Bigger than a USB stick, obviously, but holds so much more information (movies/photos/music and what have you). Also they come in different colours and you can buy accessories like covers People who know me well know that I like anything that has accessories. Which reminds me, you can buy Kindle accessories too!

Tiny digital video cameras.
I don’t have one of these, yet, (hint hint santa!), but it would be totally cool to be able to film all the hilarious things Ella does, and skilfully master them into a mini movie with which to embarass her at her 21st birthday party. Technology these days, I tell you!

GPS
I mean seriously. How does it know where I am?! And how does it know how to get me to where I want to go?! Magic.

To check out other Listography entries, and possibly get some trendy Chrissy present ideas (ha ha), check out Kate’s blog.

And so I bring to you, Some Stuff I Have Recently Bought (as a result of being Naughty at the shops).

(I couldn’t truthfully say The Last 5 Things I Bought, as that would have to include Maccas, Booze, and a silly amount of chocolate items.)

I also bought a pair of sneakers (to combat the chocolate purchases), but my laptop and I are currently having words, and it refuses to cooperate and upload the photo. They’re white and blue and silver and have those funny soles because they are ‘workout walkers’. Bootcamp here I come! You can use your imagination.

Maybe next week I’ll thrill you with a photo of what’s in my fridge…

It may also have something to do with the fact that after a screamingly insufficient 4 hours sleep, I am now home alone with aforementioned toddler.

This was NOT the plan.

The plan was to spend the day comfortably nursing my anticipated hangover, toddler free.

The plan was foiled by Grandma’s failure to pick up said toddler this morning, due to an alleged migraine. Personally I don’t see why one wouldn’t want to babysit a 14 month old demon spawn while nursing a blinding headache but hey, each to their own.

Stephen works on Sundays, so is absolutely no help whatsoever. Which brings me to my next grumble. Who the hell works on Sundays anymore?! It’s supposed to be family day, dammit! I can’t wait for the day when that is actually the truth. Mainly because my misery will have some company.

I am now faced with a dilemma – there is no food in the house. Specifically, nothing greasy/fatty/fizzy or sweet. Which means I have to go out and fetch some. Venturing out in public with a cranky baby and an even more cranky mummy, is not going to be fun. Wish me luck!

Oh and did I mention I have my period? Yup.

I realise that it has been a long long time since I posted anything at all. It was an unintentional hiatus, which I hope is over now. There has been a lot going on I guess, and I promise there are more meaningful posts on the way! I’m just too grumpy to write them today.

I’m trying to write something important, and I just can’t find the words. Or rather, I can’t find the right words. I’ve written plenty, but none of it was good enough.

What do you do, when you can’t do what you do best?

So I had a shitty morning, today. Pun totally intended. I worked last night, and didn’t get to bed until around 2am. Thanks to a stubborn (and ridiculously painful) head cold, what sleep I managed to fit in wasn’t very restful. When I heard Ella waking up sometime before 7, I didn’t even bother to put my glasses on before I stumbled to her room to fetch her. Those of you who know me, will know that without my glasses (or contact lenses) I am as blind as a bat. I can’t see clearly more than a few inches from my face. So it wasn’t until I felt her bare little bottom on my arm that I realised she wasn’t wearing any pants.

That’s right. My 13 month old daughter has learnt not only how to get her pants off, but also how to remove her nappy. Ohhhhh shiiiitt.

I stumbled back to my room, grabbed my glasses, and returned to survey the damage. Eewwww. Keep in mind, this is a full overnight nappy we’re talking about. I had to wash the sheets, blankets, sheepskin, cot bumpers (breathable ones, before you jump on my back about SIDS), Ella’s pyjamas, my pyjamas, my ARM (thanks to picking her up before noticing the poop situation). There may or may not have been poop on her hands and, yes, her face. Say it with me now – eewww.

This is my first major poop situation, and as such it was a bit of a shock. I realise I have many more poop situations to look forward to, and I can only hope that in future, I remember to put my glasses on before I put my hands in it.

You know you’re feeling better when…

- you can no longer stand the pile of snotty tissues next to the bed, and get out of bed just to get rid of them.
- you then find you can’t stand the state of the rest of the house, and don’t get back into bed until you’ve sorted that out, too.
- you need chocolate. Stat.
- you shower.

Head over to her page and check me out. Check her out too, while you’re there. She’s pretty awesome.

This week we’re being hosted by Kate’s dear friend Nickie, who happened to inspire the whole topic. Check out her page Typecast for the other entries – and prepare for hilarity.

So here goes.

Boy I met on the Internet
Internet dating is tricky at the best of times, let alone when it’s some boy you met in a chatroom, who happens to be younger than you (which might not be an issue, if you weren’t only 16 yourself). Here’s a piece of advice for anyone considering internet dating – don’t choose, as a venue for your first real life meeting/date, an all night movie marathon. It’s dark, and you don’t get to talk. So you will leave with no better idea of anything about the person you are now supposedly dating. Also, if he is only 15, he will expect you to hold hands, and his hands will be sweaty. Ugh.

Second date with Boy from Internet
If you are silly enough, as I was, to hold your first date in a situation where it is impossible to interact, you may then organise a second date, without realising how silly that would be. As a second date, we went to a music festival. Enter epic mistake #2. He spent the whole day clinging to me, literally, in 40 degree weather. 40 degrees celsius, mind you. And he brought me flowers. To a music festival. Sigh.

The older man
When I was a year older, and thought myself much wiser, I dated a 30 year old. Yes, I was 17, you calculated correctly. He was so suave and swedish and yummy, working at the cafe I worked at, and I couldn’t resist. Sadly, the night he took me back to his parents place to do the deed in his loft bed (apparently the mature version of a bunk bed) didn’t put me off, and it took me a while longer to move on.

My ‘First’
Major high school crush; after school, last day of year 12; floor of his mum’s lounge room; never saw him again. Need I say more??

The Man in Uniform
This boy, a friend of a friend of mine, was actually totally lovely. My friend took me to a party at his parent’s place one night (they were away, of course), and we hooked up. I was totally desperate to make out with someone at that point, it’d been a while, and I love a good smooch. Anyway we ‘dated’ for three weeks, during which I think we saw each other three times, and then had a mutual break up. Truly mutual actually, which is rare. Not long after, I found out he was dating a policeman. Operative word ‘man’.

All these memories are bittersweet, for me at least. On one hand, I miss the fun and excitement of the first kiss, and dating someone new. But, on the other hand, it’s nice not to have to deal with the anxiety which comes hand in hand with dating, and to have someone I can kiss, whenever I want to. Awww.

Mainly of this.

In eight loooong months, we will be taking a MUCH needed holiday. Before I let Stephen knock me up again. We’ll be leaving the Pud with her G-ma, and galivanting off to Phuket with some friends. And, I. Cannot. Wait.

Where are you planning your next holiday? I think I’ll only get the one in the next few years, and I’m going to need to live vicariously through you, if you don’t mind.

Generally speaking, if I’m hungry, I’d rather shove down a piece of bread (yep, I mean a piece of bread, unadorned with, well, anything) than make myself a sandwich. Ok so that might be exaggerating a little, I do sometimes make myself a sandwich. Unless there’s crackers. Or nuts or something.

On the nights that I’m home alone (3 a week, at the moment), I usually succumb to something naughty. Stephen will bring me HJs on the way home from work, or something. On the rare occasion that I actually make myself some dinner (*gasp*), I feel disproportionately pleased with myself. Like tonight. Even if all I did was slap some tomato paste, ham, pineapple and cheese on a pizza base and chuck it in the oven. Who cares if it was a bit burnt around the edges? I cooked

I would like to add, in my defense, that my unwillingness to prepare food doesn’t extend to baking. I like to bake. Ok so I’m still lazy, but every now and then I get in a baking frenzy and go nuts. Banana choc chip muffins are my specialty. Place orders here.

Still, this is something I don’t like about myself. I’d love to be all Nigella Lawson in the kitchen, serving up fresh healthy meals to my family 3 times a day. I plan to, still, when things are a bit more settled. (By which I mean when Stephen has regular working hours and I don’t have to work at all. Ha.)

I already have the cookbooks, now if only I could get my hands on some o’ that wily motivation…