Here’s a few words I didn’t think I’d be saying for a while – I’ve gone back to work.
In theory, I hate the idea. I want to be a Stepford Wife, cooking/baking/cleaning all day and raising a perfect child. Also in this Stepford life I wear heels every day and don’t have mutant bunionated arthritic feet, but I won’t go into that right now.
In reality, it’s actually not so bad. Ok so it’s only been one day so far – but it was nice to get away from home for a few hours and use my brain for something other than determining the best method of stain removal. Since I’ve gone back to my old job, it actually felt ridiculously as though nothing has changed. It’s been almost a year since I left, but while I sat at my desk, it was kinda like, ‘what baby?!’
Also nice is that Stephen and Ella got to spend some quality daddy-daughter time together. Look past the fact that she napped half the time and had her Aunty Jen visiting the other half, and it’s kinda sweet. It might do him some good to see what it’s like to be stuck with her for more than the length of time it takes me to have a shower. (Ok I’m exaggerating here, but you get the point.)
The hardest part for me, is the uncertainty. At the moment, I’m working in the afternoons when Stephen can, for the most part, take Ella, because he works early in the day – and not every day, because it rains fairly often this time of year, and he’s a roofer. This situation, however, is temporary – which is fine, but it would be nice to know how temporary. I’m a big planner, if that wasn’t clear to you yet. I like to plan as much in advance as possible – especially where money is concerned. But at this stage I have no idea how much I’ll be earning, apart from the fact that my government assistance will cease completely now that I’m working some. Assholes. Stephen’s pay is never certain, because he’s a casual subcontractor, and the weather is not our friend. He’s looking for something else, but it’s not easy for a 25 year old man without a trade.
What with our variety of debts, I’m doing my best not to freak the hell out. It’ll all work out… right?? I’m not sure what the future will bring, but I’m hoping it includes a lottery win…